yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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