I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
