You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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