He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
