break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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