mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
