This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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