Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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