It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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