He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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