I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
3pm strippers are depressing
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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