adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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