I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
