Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
