Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize