we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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