does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
