What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
