when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
