I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That accounts for only three of the penises
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize