You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
