You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
