I just made out with a guy for $7.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They took my balls.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
