Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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