She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
