Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
