you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
