There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
