We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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