I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
