it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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