Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
