Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize