Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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