I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
