I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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