Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
