That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i think i just lost a toe
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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