Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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