1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
