I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How does one acquire holy water?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
