32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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