My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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