i would punch a child for taco bell
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
