ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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