you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize