So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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