I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
