do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
