You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
only you would photoshop your dick
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
