I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
