Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
