end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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