You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize