yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
