smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
