If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize