I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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