One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
