My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
