our cab driver is having phone sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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