i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
