I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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