To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
